Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Who WRITES these kid shows?

****CAUTION: If you are easily offended skip this post!*****

I haven't watched South Park in a while, Nor have I been watching Family Guy or American Dad. These are definitely the shows where some of the things I have noticed lately would fit in. So my question is: do the writers on Sesame Street, (this time around, there have been other preschool shows as well), realize what they are putting in front of kids. Or is this one of those, let's throw a joke in the for the parents as it will go over the youngsters heads ploys? If so they are playing a very tricky game.

The instance that got to me was on Sesame Street this week and was so over the top, went into such scary places, I was surprised it was allowed to air. I also can't seem to get it out of my head. Honestly I am not a prude. I would scare most of my friends if they knew half of what went on in my perverted mind. But then again maybe that is the problem. Either way I thought I'd share since this worm won't stop crawling around my warped mind.

My friend and I were talking as his preschooler was watching said show. I was distracted by the sight of a nekkid Bert. Okay, really he was without his typical shirt and they didn't show below his waist. Bert was singing and dancing behind his bathtub. There were bubbles flying everywhere and then a chorus of other male muppets came in to sing with him. This is where the bathtub grew. I could not help myself just as my mind thought it I blurted out "Bert's in a BathHouse!" My friend turned and looked. He hurriedly covered his eyes crying out "Don't do that to me!" He was trying desparately to remove the image from his brain and not laugh. It didn't work. It also got worse from there. He admitted there was always a question since it isn't clear whether or not Bert and Ernie are brothers or just "good roommates". Then we looked at the tv again. Total mistake as now there were animals singing and dancing with all the male muppets behind the ENORMOUS bathtub. Bubbles, colored lights, singing, dancing, laser show and lots of nekkid muppets! What were we supposed to think? (Maybe if we were listening to the song it may have helped.)

This is where the 8 and 6 year old come up from the back of the house as my friend and I are chuckling and trying to keep quiet. Plus these kids are totally oblivious to us. We are not cool or important you know. In any case, they came out looked at the tv and shouted "They're naked!" They promptly ran back to the room they were first playing in and didn't come out until they were called. The point of this part of the story? I wasn't the only one that noticed these felt creatures were only wearing air. I admit the homosexual aspect as well as the beastiality angle was probably just me. Until now.

The section then ends with Bert alone in his bathroom. It was all in his imagination. Well of course it was.  And now we know just what goes on in HIS mind.

If you don't believe me go and look for yourself.
 http://www.sesamestreet.org/video_player/-/pgpv/videoplayer/0/c31c4dc4-157d-11dd-9bc7-777dea8a73e7/i_gotta_be_clean

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Here we Go!

It is now the end of 2010 and of course this makes most of us look back at the year we've just spent hoping would end quickly. Being the end of one year it also makes me in particular look forward to what is coming up.

I don't know about you all but there never seems to be a definitive end to one year and a definitive beginning to the next. For the last dozen years things just seem to blend together. The actual date only marks when things are due or when they are well and truly done. Otherwise we keep plugging away at similar if not the very same things year after year, day after day.

This may seem monotonous to some, to me it is an indication of what I've accomplished over the last couple of years. For things to continue happening it means that I have continously worked on them. I am fairly good at cutting people or activities from my life when they get too cumbersome, boring or toxic. I say fairly good because I probably give both my activities and acquiantances more chances then they deserve to get back into my good graces. Regardless, the point is that I don't have continuity due to inaction but due to a concerted effort to continue those things that I enjoy.

To this end I am now starting to at least think about my calendar. Yes, I have not followed my own advice again. I haven't plotted on an actual calendar yet. I swear I will hit the dollar store soon!

Even though I haven't written it down on paper, I can already see the weekends up until Summer filled up. And my weeknights are going to start filling quickly as well. I have to keep repeating to myself that this is all good! I have created this busy schedule nightmare with the projects I have taken on. This craziness will get the troupe the recognition we want, me the money I need to pay the bills on time and a of course a chance to for me to publish at least one of my stories.

This is the idea anyway.

Now myself and the friends I purposely have surrounding me are on to planning the next year and it's going to be a hard, fast ride! Hopefully everyone's ready and has their safety belts on. There's no slowing down this rollercoaster!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Nemesis and Chaos strike again!

I bet you all thought that Trickster Time was my nemesis. This, however, is not true. Life has had so many bumps, traps and holes for me that I believe that Nemesis and Chaos are a tag team that dog my every crossroad. I am just not sure how I should take this.

Most religious and spiritual paths believe that trials and tribulations are necessary to get us where we need to be. That these obstacles will help shape a person's spirit and personality.

Personally, I think that there may be some intent, but I also believe that Chaos just likes getting into mischief with his good buddy Nemesis.

Right now I've had a series of these 'character building' events happen. Up to and including my vehicle being out of commission. This is the most severe of all the obstacles as this is how I get to and from work as well as get errands done for the family. One of those errands is paying the bills. Another is picking up the gifts for this holiday. Not usually a procrastinator with gift buying, I did need to wait until after payday this time around. Oh! We need to add cashing that check to this list of errands. I sure am envying the snow birds and their golf carts right now.

Chaos of course not to be undone by Nemesis' sly work with the 4runner decided that the troupe performance this weekend needed more excitement. Two dancers fall ill, that was half the show, and the organizer didn't organize. With only two dancers to do a four dancer piece and then a third joining in after not even hearing the music until 2 hours before the performance we were already nervous. The addition of the set list not being with the master cd for the show AND the gal with the set list being 25 minutes late. Woo Hoo! Chaos was having a grand time. We did show Chaos that while he could mock and make it difficult he did not win completely. We went on and while we didn't knock it out of the park we performed well. And really if you think about it we had the coolest music. Christmas Carols done with drums and an Oud!

Out of this I have learned that I have at least one more friend that I can count on in times of crisis. It is also making the fire under me burn a little hotter for getting some query letters out soon. Which means I need to spend more time writing in order to have something to shop.

And this is when Time steps in for a little mischief of his own. Projects that should only take a few minutes take hours. Because, of course, Time is not working alone. Nemesis made sure that my printer ink cartridges were clogged so that Time could chuckle whilst I spent almost two hours hitting deep clean and nozzle check. After all this time was spent, Nemesis was in for a treat as the cartridges became unclogged the ink was showing close to empty. Therefore a quick print project, (the document was already previously written and saved), turned into a long waste of my time. The boys got their kicks alright.

Here I sit once again the butt of their jokes, a piece (I am never a pawn) in the game that they like to play. Where will we go next and what ultimately is the purpose?

In my opinion it is just Life's way of giving me true competition. Mortals are just too easy to overwhelm.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Creativity runs Amuck...

But then again this is a regular and natural occurence in my current circle of friends.

I told an event organizer to be careful and give my group general guidelines for a show she is planning for the spring. Hard and Fast Parameters are needed to rein in the inevitable cascade of creative juices. She laughed and unfortunately told me that this show was no holds barred. Even more unfortunately, I let this slip to the gals Wednesday night. Whoops!

Now let me explain why the lack of parameters is worrisome.

In February of last year I saw a post calling for entertainers. Dancers, tarot readers, etc. The posting stated that the organizer was looking for entertainment for a Ball to be held as part of a big event. I contacted the organizer thinking this could be fun. I didn't realize what a roller coaster this would turn out to be.

My idea was that we would either have our musician friends play for us or pick out some recorded music and we would dance. A quick set, nothing spectacular. Well, it ended up being an extremely memorable and spectacular set.

It started with the costumes. What kind of costume would be appropriate for a pop culture event? Then came the storyline. Which I might add became more and more elaborate as time went on. Plus since there were two vastly different types of costuming suggested we had to incorporate both which is how the storyline came into play. Then of course there was the fun of getting the music that we wanted/needed to put it all together. So for two months a new idea came up almost daily, (a different way to showcase some prop or our costumes) and of course there was putting together the music. We almost bought a portable blacklight and a fog machine to really utilize some of these ideas. Seriously, it got crazy with the creativity. (I was going to post snippets of Facebook posts but thought better of it. I don't want to scare anyone away!) The show ended up as a fun and memorable 20 minute set.

Currently we are in the midst of putting a 30 minute show together for WWWCon in March. This has gotten even more creatively HUGE. There are new costumes, costume changes, sets and all manner of props. Patterns are being created for the costumes, right down to our footwear. Thank goodness we have the "soundtrack" done. Did I mention this is a production?

Our troupe does not just dance, there is also THEATRE Darling.

Don't misunderstand me. The troupe CAN and does just dance to live or recorded music. We have even recently done just that at a local Fall Festival. We have a simple set coming up this weekend as well. There are some venues and performances like these where doing anything beyond dancing is inappropriate and we get that. However, when we get a little leeway or a touch of encouragement to add a little more, it becomes very apparent that "little/small/slight" is not in our performance vocabulary.

What is the point?

I began this post because we've been asked if we want to put a comedic bit together. And I let slip that the promoter said this show was no holds barred, so long as it was family friendly. My mistake. Even in the middle of major planning and working on the big show in March, there was already the inevitable..

"I have an idea!"

Within the first 12 hours. After an evening practice. Meaning that at least 6 of those hours were spent sleeping.

It is a great idea that sounds like a hysterically good time and I can't wait to work on it. But trust me on this one folks. It will only get bigger from here.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Life's Lessons... are expensive!

Trust me I know about expenses...

A conversation I had a couple of weeks ago with a friend keeps replaying in my brain. Now you all know that my mind tends to take things that are said and warp them a bit. For my own amusement of course. But this conversation just keeps nagging at me and I figure that it is because I've missed something.

I have had many jobs and career starts. Most of them, obviously, have not led me to where I thought I wanted to go. In fact in leading me down the confusing path, these jobs and career ambitions actually left me more in debt than when I started. The idea with working, especially working hard and tirelessly, is to make money and get rid of debt. At least that's what I was told. In fact I was promised that this was the truth. Maybe I should sue. Whoops! I am getting off track.

Where did this hard work and belief leave me? Much more in debt. BUT knowing a thing or two more about life and people. In learning I have succeeded. Only there just seems like there's so much more still to learn!

I was reminded that when folks say that they graduated from 'the school of hard knocks', this is what they mean: They have tried different things, got knocked around pretty hard and learned some things of value. To which I can now say I am going through this same educational process.

But wait! My mind screams out. I went to an accredited college and supposedly got some education. Granted I haven't graduated from there either. Money slowed down and life got complicated. I got knocked around pretty hard figuring out what mistakes I made in choosing a college AND being overly honest in my financial aid applications. And... Ohhhh...

Dangit! This means that the expensive college experience was ALSO part of this whole curriculum that I am still trying to get through! Here I was figuring that I was going to have a double degree at the end of all this. Blasted Life and it's ongoing lessons. I would like a syllabus please. It'd be nice to have a direction. Or wait...

Have each of these lessons been pointing me to the itemized syllabus that will move me on to the next section? Can it really be that easy? Well maybe not easy, as these lessons are hard won and dear. Maybe I should say 'simple'. Yes, simple works for me. In fact it's been my mantra for the last week and a half. Simple and direct.

Now I am off to review my lessons so far and see if I can come up with a Simple List of Directions. There has got to be at least one arrow in all this mess.


***Oh and I reiterate that Life's Lessons are expensive. If you don't believe me here's a simple exercise to see the proof. Add together the cost of a college education, living expenses, cost of dating (yes I picked some broke guys for some reason), start up and ongoing investments for 4 direct sales businesses, clothes, shoes, medical expenses, fuel, trailer landing gears, makeup, books, seminars, plane fare, pain relievers, compact discs, workshops, alcohol, printing, copying and office supplies. Just to hit the basics. ***

Monday, December 13, 2010

I had forgotten...

I had an amazingly good weekend. I think I stated that before but I do need to reiterate because there was not just one incident or gift that made the weekend what it was. In having such a good weekend I was reminded of a few things and that made me think of other things that I had forgotten.

I had forgotten that I love to sing. I don't mean along with the radio or just while puttering around type singing. I mean having to hit the right notes, remember where to breathe and also make your lungs and diaphragm support all of this, type of singing. Granted what I got to sing this past Friday was Christmas music. These are songs that I tend to shy away from due to raising my son in a pagan atmosphere. These are also the very songs that I used to sing in every choir and chorus I was a part of while growing up. Surprisingly, I still knew the words to most of them by heart. Also as surprising was that when I opened my mouth to sing my voice remembered what to do. There were notes and syllables pouring out before I could think about it and it was fabulous! This cascade of musicality was rushing forth with no serious thought or effort. To be quite honest I would have loved to continue on and on but of course all good things must come to an end. This good thing restarted later but it was midnight and my family needed to go home. *sigh*

I had also forgotten that I really dig folks with musical talent. Of course, I am surrounded by very talented folks most of the time. We have a host of fantastic percussionists and string players. Most of the time I am not just enjoying their music. I am dancing and being a part of that music. This past Friday I didn't do that, I just stood and listened to a very talented young lady who was having fun tickling the ivories and bringing Mannheim Steamroller's musical stylings to the party. This brought back memories of watching other musicians in high school and college, enjoying not just the sound of the music but the energy that surrounded them as they played. There is definitely a connection between a musician or dancer and the audience. When that connection is completely open and transmitting the experience is almost beyond words. It is transcendent. Sometimes this transcendence is mistaken for something else, hence panties being thrown on stages. But we won't go into that here. *grin*

With the list of forgottens I do need to add another more important then the two above. In fact it was something that now remembered made it possible to enjoy and remember those joys.

I had forgotten what it was like to enjoy my friends' company and participate in a gathering WITHOUT the burden of constantly watching over and/or checking on my child. What a fantastic experience. Now that my child is >this< close to 9, he has proven that he can be left alone with other children AND be trusted not to be overly stupid. (Yes I know what you think but I stand by this word choice.) He's a good kid and really takes to heart what he is told or the instructions he is given. In fact, we have to re-program him sometimes because he takes the messages more literally than they are intended. Now, I will be totally honest and say that I did look for him to check how he was doing twice. In the 5 hours that we were at this party, this would be a record for me. PLUS no one came to me to tell me he was a.) hurt, b.) crying or c.) hurting someone else. This is also a record. I can trust my kid and he's growing up knowing he is earning that trust. It's amazing!

I am sure that there is a lot more that I have forgotten over the years. I mean the stuff I forget within moments due to fibro fog is astounding in and of itself. However, now I know that I have many instances where I will enjoy remembering the things I had forgotten.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Truly Blessed and Ready for World Domination

(Warning: Some seriousness may ensue, proceed with caution)

Yesterday I mentioned that I had a couple of friends help me by keeping me from going Total Harpy on folks at an event. Today I am online AND will get to work a bit on my fiction due to a friend's help and generosity. (This laptop has a Huge screen!) I find myself repeating to myself and anyone that will listen that I am totally blessed.

Mind you, life is tough. There have been some serious ruts and bumps along the way. Don't get me started on how many times being helpful has ended up costing us. We are who we are though and changing would be worse than just taking our lumps and continuing to fight our way through.

All in all it's been worth it. Slowly but surely I have found true friends. People who have been there when Chaos strikes and Nemesis decides to have a little fun. My friends have become my fellow warriors when it's time to fight, my support group when it's time to lick my wounds and my partners in crime when it's time to let off steam and get into just a little trouble. (We haven't ended up in jail saying those four words yet.)

Even better lately, I have found myself surrounded by not only great friends but friends with similar passions and desires. We have formed a group of complementary talents. What an exciting time! So long as we continue to work well together and have fun helping each other there is nothing we won't be able to accomplish.

So I repeat that I am blessed. Good friends. Great partners. Forward momentum. Limitless Generosity. These are the things that the Brain was missing. This is why his genius plans were always foiled and why we, Oh Goddesses of Raven and Red hair, will prevail.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Progress aka Yes it CAN be Changed

For anyone that has known me for ANY length of time it comes as no surprise that I have a tendency to want to shake things up and do things differently. Experimentation is a fun and fabulous thing that can lead to more fun and fabulous things. (I promise!)

Even more than loving the process of experimenting though is the fact that I think things through (wow this goes back to the first post doesn't it?) and I want know others are thinking as well. Honestly, the two most repeated mantras you will hear around my house is "Everything can be improved" AND "The only constant is CHANGE".

Now, I do realize that change just for the sake of change can be counterproductive. I truly do have reasons and a thought process behind my ideas for change. HOWever, just because there's the slightest possibility that you may not get a good result does not mean that regardless of a good reason and valid point for a change to occur you should still keep the status quo because that's how things are.

That being said I will now get to my point and why I am ranting.

I mentioned in my last post that myself and a couple of friends coordinated an event that went pretty well with a bit of a shaky start. One of the shaky starts was being told I couldn't do something. One of the Loudest reasons I given was 'we've never done that'. I will tell you all that I walked away because I was seriously afraid I would get physical. I really rather reason and logic my way through any given obstacle, problem or argument. BUT when the logic you are being given is ridiculously void of any logic, my brain short circuits.

Yes I AM a parent that HATES the phrase "because I said so" (albeit I do realize that it can be a replacement for the answer you've given 20 times already.) I am sorry to inform everyone that I also will NOT accept "because" as an answer to ANY question. I honestly don't care what reason I am given for something, just so long as it has a small amount of thought behind it. Well, that and you actually listen to what I have to say and process it first before formulating that answer. (Yup there are always qualifiers.)

I was tea-kettle screeching steamed. I have points to make, data to back me up as well as knowledge of how things actually work and conversations no one else has had, yet none of these things matter nor will they be heard. All due to the fact that 'we've never done that'. AAARRGH! (Yup, I can throw a hissy fit with the best of 'em.)

Pause for reflection-

Everyone has been in this situation several times in their lives. I know most folks understand the frustration. Your boss has said 'no' to a brilliant idea that will make the company loads of money for hardly any investment because 'we've never done that'. Your parents say no to a creative idea you have 'because we say so'. Add to that the frustration of not actually being heard and BOOM! Insta-Harpy (must add chocolate or alcohol to return to human form.)

So the question for the day is: Since we've all been there before, why would we continue to do this to each other? (Overly logical I know, most days that is my biggest problem.)


Now back to the regularly scheduled rant -

I KNOW that I am an intelligent woman, I KNOW that I do my research and I KNOW that the reasons behind my decisions are sound and well thought out. So when my ideas/requests are dismissed without thought or a real discussion, when my logical and researched findings are stomped on without a solid base of reasoning I tend to take it a bit personally. You have just told me that I am not worth your time/brain power OR even worse you have told me that you don't think I have a brain. For of course I assume that everyone around me has and uses their brains. (Again back to that first rant.)

Thank goodness for the Red-Headed Goddess with the YUMMY ale that came to everyone's rescue, whether they were aware of it or not! Of course we must also give thanks to the Brunette Goddess that knew it was necessary. :)

OH and let's not forget the all important "I told ya so!"

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Speaking of Time

It has been way, way too long since my last post. I looked back wondering what the heck happened and why so much time flew by. That Trickster Time did it to me again! I am telling you he is in for it now!

As I take my time and start to sort out the mess my life became I realize that I do have quite a bit to share. Once again I will have a short series. Because once again I got in over my head and have now resurfaced to discover that while most of what I needed to do got accomplished, there is always much more to do.

Our local ReCreation group has an annual event whose theme is basically a Barroom Brawl. It's great family fun! I volunteered, with three of my friends, to coordinate this event. At the end I must say that I learned a lot. One of the things I learned was that I still have no clue what I am doing most of the time. Another thing I learned is that I don't effectively communicate with men anymore. It is a skill I used to have and apparently have lost. Darn the fact that I actually have fabulous female friends nowadays! I also learned that folks in general have a really difficult time with change. I mean really just because something is always done one way does NOT mean that this is a good argument against doing it another way. Seriously folks. It's called progress. However, I also learned, most importantly, that I am surrounded by some pretty awesome people.

Mind you that while trying to coordinate this event I was also trying to help a friend move, failed in that by the way, trying to put together a lesson plan for a poetry section to teach at my son's school, got sick so had to reschedule that, write up a flyer and send in a contract for the dance class I want to teach come January (so close with that one), tried to do the NaNoWriMo contest, yeah so did not even get close and of course be the Nanny and Mommy that is always my job. Wife and Animal caregiver have to fit in there as well. Oh and herald, friend, troupe performance coordinator and general information finder. Yes I am crazy, busy and can't find my own behind wi.... well anyway it's a bit mad around here. I have also had a cold or more than one that have had me unable to breathe or sleep well for the last three weeks. I forgot to take my Vitamin D. Whoops!

Looking at the list my feeling is that I succeeded in one of my projects but failed in the rest. Yes this is how we learn and what I have learned is that I took on way too much at once. What do I do about that? I can't not do the things I love and that interest me. So I need to fix this somehow.

At the moment I have convinced myself that I need to take on only two projects per week. This week is getting my contract to whom it needs to go to AND try to coordinate a date to teach that Poetry class. I have help coordinating the next Troupe Performance so that one doesn't really count. Maybe I don't need NaNo to try to do something of the scale.... maybe I can do it on my own in an off month like say..... well I will get back to you on that because I can't think of a non-busy month off the top of my head. I know there is at least one!

Now back to the Nanny gig and later the Mommy one while I try to wrangle my life into some semblance of order.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Trickster named Time

A friend of mine mentioned yesterday that time moves differently now then when we were children. Now with the hustle and bustle of our daily lives when we take time to do "nothing" time moves quickly. As children if there was nothing to do time would move so slowly as to be painful! Does this mean that "nothing" means something different to us now then it did then? Or is it something completely external with nothing to do with definitions.

I found this difference also applies to many parts of our lives. We think that a project will take X amount of time. However, sometimes we don't factor in the Y that can be anything from kids to forgotten errands. So the actual amount of time (Z) is of course more than we expected. Then again this happens with those projects that have a concrete deadline. For those projects that we have more flexible deadlines, half the time things work out so well that we find ourselves done with time to spare. What is frustrating is that both sets of projects do not happen within a time frame that allows the extra time from one to be applied to the other. Even more frustrating is that there isn't a formula or rule to let us know when these times will occur.

This makes me feel like Time itself is an entity related to Chaos and in league with Nemesis. It is obviously readjusting itself for entertainment purposes. I can truly see these Entities watching us and manipulating things just to see how we'll react. It's even possible that there is a constant betting pool going on about the outcomes. Although I am not sure who the bookie would be. The Fates?

In any case Time can be tricky and often frustrating. And for the moment I will not try to figure it out. But one of these days I will work on it. Or just write a story to shame that Trickster Time.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

NaNoWriMo... sort of

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month is an annual self-monitored writing contest. The contest is not about writing the best story. In fact no one else actually reads your novel unless you decide to send it to someone for that purpose. The point of the contest is to write without slowing down to edit or research. Get all your ideas on "paper" and hit at least 50,000 words. A couple of people I know are participating this year as am I.

Admittedly, I haven't been very good about using every available moment to write. I am doing a bit better than I did last year, I blamed the low word count last year to starting 2 weeks into the month. This year, I acknowledge that I have let other things distract me. I plan for time to write and then work on things for the dance troupe OR start plotting ways to make a bit more money. Making ends meet is a HUGE distraction.

Another huge distraction is that buzzing in the back of my head that I could be polishing what I have already written to submit to agents. This of course runs back around to that making money thing. Really, if I had money I could just write. The time would be there for research and editing as well. Then the daydreaming begins.

One of my writing partners and I constantly joke about winning the lottery so we can become wealthy enough to write. Being a professional student would be nice too, but really that would defeat the purpose which is having time to write without worrying about the dreaded Bill Monster. We understand that this joking is a way of blowing off steam. The daydream to relieve stress. Last week, however, I almost stepped over the line.

I was surrounded by advertising for that week's Powerball. At that point it was up to $123 million and I was counting change out to put fuel in my truck. I was SO close to using some of that change to buy a Powerball ticket. I was calculating what winning that money would actually mean. (The math will be wrong, it's not my forte.) About 50% would be taken for taxes which would leave me with $61.5 million. Paid out over 20 years there would be a yearly stipend of about $3 million. So the first year I could pay off student loans, personal loans, medical debt and buy the house completely from my in-laws. We'd also be able to buy a larger home and have newer vehicles. My husband would still have to work that year. BUT we'd be comfy. This all went through my head in the 2-3 minutes that I had to wait for an available cashier.

What stopped me from buying a ticket and trying? I would be cheating myself out of 24 miles of driving. That is 1/3 of the mileage for my day. Total reality check. I had to be able to get to work and back home that day, regardless of whether or not my $3 would win me anything in the future. This was too big of a gamble for me on this day.

Where does this leave me then? And what does this have to do with NaNoWriMo?

It leaves me realizing that I need to continue to do what I can to scrimp and save. I need to remind myself that the course I am on will get me to where I want to go. I need to work on Patience. And mostly I need to remember that when I am feeling overwhelmed this blog is here for me to empty the clutter so I can hear my character's voices more clearly.

With that in mind I go back to writing a bit more on the slightly researched and not edited novel that I WILL finish on November 30th!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Drowning Smurfs...

Giggle Three
(you all are probably getting tired of the dye job stories.. hehehe)

This of course is the continuing discussion of silly things that came up when creating costumes. If you are a friend of mine on a social network you have seen a picture of the whole troupe in these beautiful "peacock" color costumes and every bit of them were made by us! We are so Talented. But I digress.

Trying to come up with something simple, girly and bellydance'ish we zeroed in on wrap pants. There is only one seam right in the middle and the rest is hemming. Fairly simple and we had fabric we could dye in any color already. After deciding on the purple velvet for the ghwazee coats the pants had to be bright to contrast and still be one of the "peacock" colors. The name of the dye we used was Sapphire, but my friend insisted it was Smurf Blue. I didn't care. It was bright, pretty and would get pants on us. (Dancing w/out pants would have made some of the men happy but Not the other dancers.) Thus the bright blue dye on the raw silk pants that gave such an amazing contrast.

One of the fun things that happens when you dye anything, be it fabric or hair, is that you Always end up with some on yourself. I have learned to wear clothing that I don't mind being multi-colored. We try to remember to put on gloves but sometimes they tear. Of course, most of the time the problem is that you are in a rush to get things done and at some point forget to don the gloves. When it comes to me, I just don't care enough to worry about what my hands will look like. (My husband will attest to this as it was true when working on my Mazda years ago as well.) On this round of dyeing I actually didn't get my hands on much so I just had blue nails and some spotting. My friend managed to turn her fingers blue almost to the second knuckle. I was a little jealous, I kind of like getting "dirty" when doing art. Next time I was going to do more.

My friend, who had commissioned work to finish for her business, had more blue things to dye the next day. I noticed on her status update that her fingers looked like she had been drowning smurfs! The image that came to my mind of course is that big cauldron that Gargamel had with smurfs in it trying to get out. The whole time my friend is laughing and pushing them down into the pot. Because THAT is how they all became BLUE!! So really she wasn't drowning smurfs but dyeing them to match our outfits!

(It gets much stranger.)

The following week, we were dyeing the small pieces of our costuming. This included the Peacock Camo armpit covers and the Grilled Peacock veil I wore as a butt cover. (Covering is important to us.) And yes this time I get color on me. I really did put a glove on, but it split right at the bottom. Did I notice? Yes. Did I care. Not one bit. I started out being careful about where I put my hand. As we started having fun really mashing in the color I stopped paying attention. Later on I looked at the "peacock" coloring on the heel of my hand and began to think. If having blue tipped fingers meant you were drowning smurfs then what did peacock coloring on the heel of your hand mean?

Smooshed Peacock!

"I am very sorry sir, but your pet peacock was buzzing in my ear while I was talking. Before I could think about it I just swatted it down and smooshed it."

Wait. Peacocks are too big to just swat down. Hmmm. What if it was a peacock mosquito? No. Female mosquitos are the ones that bite and only Male peacocks are colorful. (Told ya it would get really strange.) Would a hummingbird sized peacock be small enough? YES!

"I was chatting with a friend when a peacock hummingbird came a little too close and mistaking it for a pesky bug I swatted it. I felt really badly when I realized my mistake and am now marked with the colors of my crime."

This lunacy I have only shared now, with you. Don't you all feel special?

This was the point when I realized... I needed sleep.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

It's just Worm Spit!

Giggle number Two (BTW these are not in chronological order)

Some folks really have a way of expressing themselves in a way that is both succinct and humorous. I love these little tidbits because while they never fail to make me giggle, they also paint the exact picture necessary. It is also funny when they come out after some slightly related remark is made elsewhere. This was one of those times that will be etched into my memory.

I believe it was the last day of dyeing and stitching for our costumes that I spaced the errands I was supposed to run before getting to my friend's house. Since those errands weren't run I got to the house early. Color me embarrassed when I came into the house during a phone conversation. My hostess was all kinds of gracious, I was just feeling dumb because I forgot stuff, again. (The forgetting things is a whole Other story.) She brought me chai and I waited patiently really trying to just relax and not listen in on the conversation. That is until I hear, "I don't know why silk items are such a high priced commodity, it's just worm spit." This was said very matter of factly and I had to cover my face and bite my tongue so my laughing wouldn't interrupt the conversation I was supposedly ignoring. Thank goodness my mouth was not full of the yummy chai!

This week was also the week that "The Cat in the Hat Knows a lot About That" was repeating the silk thread episode.In this episode one of the children needs silk thread to repair her dress and the Cat takes them some silly place to meet silk worms. The worm is upset at being called a worm because she is in fact a CATERPILLAR. The nerve of us for mistaking the two!

Now if you've gotten to know a little of how my mind mashes things you'll know what comes next.I hear 'it's just worm spit' and think 'No they're caterpillars'. I try really hard not to say things like this out loud, because I don't want to be that kind of nerd. But I think them all the time. So now I have in my head this little ditty "Worm spit, Caterpillar Spit it doesn't matter it still feels nice." Yeah, we won't take that any further.

Telephone conversation finished, chai refilled and silks ready to be prepared for dyeing I grin at my friend and say "So it's just worm spit eh?" She bursts out laughing. When she gets herself back under control tells me "But it really is." We then go into the discussion about how this protein that is pretty readily available comes at such a high price in retail markets. I do point out that it is actually the work involved between the silk as fabric and the silk as finished product. There is a lot of prep work, care and special treatment that silk requires that other fabrics such as cotton do not. All of our hard work to create a set of simple yet pretty costumes proved just that.

Now I can honestly say that I have a beautiful costume to dance in that is mostly comprised of beautifully dyed Worm Spit, (or Caterpillar Spit if you'd rather.)

Monday, November 8, 2010

Grilled Peacock.... (with Pineapple Sauce?)

Giggle One of the Costuming Saga  (BTW these are not in chronological order)

Sometimes in costume making, you create items that will double as both part of a costume or an accessory. We did a few of these with silks over the past two weeks. The colors we got were both breath taking and fun. And when the color got all over us, that was fun too. I personally got to learn a little about the chemical reactions that make the dyeing process happen, (Zahira sneaks science lessons into Everything!) I was also trusted to squirt the dye out of the bottles onto the silk. Woo Hoo!

This time around the dye pot, I learned that dyeing silk is not an exact science and sometimes the silk or the dye is naughty. Color doesn't always take OR the color changes a bit. This makes every project a true science experiment. My definition of an experiment: A true scientific experiment comes about when you don't know what will actually happen. You can make a hypothesis and put your materials/data together but you have to Wait for the outcome.

One veil in particular did both of the above-mentioned naughty tricks to us when we were in the process of creating it. It didn't take color in some spots AND one of the colors came out differently than expected. After pulling said veil out of the processing container, I pointed these two bits of mischief out to Zahira. She leaned back a little and tapped her finger on her bottom lip in her patented "I'm creating" mode. After a few moments of thought her eyes began to sparkle and a dazzling grin appeared. Painting! That is how we change what we Got into something we Want. First came the pleating of the veil, then out came the paintbrush. Dipping into the dye pot and stroking color onto the fabric Zahira told me to just wait and see. I followed her directions and wrapped the silk, put it in to steam and when we pulled it out I was amazed.

The veil had lovely graduated sections of the "Peacock" coloring we were striving for, but with painting the pleats we got this striped effect as well. Our troupe colors were dubbed a few weeks ago as Peacock Camo, because of the colors and how the dye soaked into the fabric. This veil had none of the camouflage type spotting, it only had the colors we have been using for our Peacock Camo. Since there was this purple striping across most of this "peacock" veil, the imagination could only conclude that it had been on the grill. Thus this veil is now dubbed - Grilled Peacock.

I, of course, began laughing at the thought of the face most people would make if offered grilled peacock. Then, I began to wonder what it would taste like and furthermore what kind of sauce could you serve with it. (Strange? Yes! But it gets better.) Pondering the sauce, my mind wandered back into costume land and I tried picturing what color would be peacock'ish and compliment the costume well. Gold came to mind almost immediately and on the heels of that thought came the thought that pineapples were "gold". The only conclusion that I then came to was that if you are going to have Grilled Peacock, you MUST serve it with Pineapple Sauce!

The Grilled Peacock veil I took as my decorative "butt cover" and wore it with pride. I made sure that I had gold jewelry to compliment the whole Peacock ensemble. That way when I walked around and while I was on stage I could imagine myself as Grilled Peacock with Pineapple Sauce!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Whirlwind!

What a couple of weeks! It has been so full of drama, fun and other types of excitement. It is almost over and I am happy for it. Although, the demented part of me wonders if I will be bored to go back to my regularly scheduled program. Not to say that my weeks aren't normally full and slightly chaotic.

I am part of a Belly Dance troupe and we have a performance tomorrow. This is a good thing as we are trying to make a good impression on the community as well as the public at large. (We hope to hear the jingle of coin, that we are not wearing, hit our baskets soon!) The craziness began when we realized we had to make some sort of troupe costumes when our costumer got a new job and had to jet out of town. Her vision for us still needs to be stitched together and final fitted. While we are excited for her amazing work to be on us for a performance, this Saturday's performance for the Middle Eastern Culture and Dance Association's Fall Festival will not see us dance naked! Let the Crazy Begin!

The fantastic thing with this particular group of women is that we figure out what we need to do and do it. Every single gal has at least one talent to share and most of us have overlapping skills. Very Helpful when the group needs to get a project done FAST.

A ten minute conversation on the Monday after we found out we could be naked for this performance yielded beautiful results. I cannot post the rendering at the time of this post since we will be debuting the costume tomorrow. I will say that this artistic rendering made almost all the gals in the troupe emit an unsolicited 'Wow!'. We are so talented. Decision made, it was now time to get to the business of cutting fabric and sewing together these beautiful creations.

This is where I tell you all that WE as individuals have a tendency to try to do everything on our own. Asking for help is a skill we are all still learning. (I do not pretend to be good at this at all, I know my faults.) A couple of us had to remind our fashion designer/silk expert/costumer/dancer extraordinaire (Zahira) that she was NOT putting these costumes together for us all on her own. Each gal was asked to put a couple of simple pieces together, and I volunteered to help with the more complicated pieces and pieces that needed to be dyed. I still have some peacock coloring under a couple of my nails and on the heel of my hand. It will be gone by tomorrow afternoon. I swear!

This project, as of this post, is not entirely complete as a couple of us need to put the finishing touches on bras or coats. But I am proud of us for pulling together and being as close to done as we are before dinner today! For us gals with super busy schedules and kids to get this together and done in two weeks time is Awesome in my humble opinion. I truly believe we are a gifted group of determined and talented women. To top this off, everyone that pitched in did so without any whining or complaint! We are truly a Phenomenal group! No one can convince me differently. We are also a group of nutters and not one of us would disagree. :)

The next few posts will come from snippets of conversation or comments made during the work of these last couple of weeks. Zahira and I are looking for a cartoonist for a few comic strips of these adventures. As well as other behind the scenes moments. Be Very Afraid.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Surprise!

I mentioned on Friday that my son and I were going to a weekend long tournament for our medieval/renaissance re-creation group. First, I have to say that it was a lot of fun camping and hanging out with friends. Second, I must mention that I was nervous as all get out because I had to herald. Yes, the whole standing up in front of large crowds and loudly making royalty's wishes known. (Did I mentioned I have a fear of public speaking?)

Because I was so nervous I was making a big fuss out of my eight year old son fighting in his first real tournament. (Thus the impulsive shopping.) For the record, I am happy that he has found something he has fun doing and that he sticks with. I am also very happy that he chooses to join me when I play in this game instead of staying home with Daddy. I just work really hard not to put any pressure or expectations on him. After all it's supposed to be fun AND I don't want to be a "football-mom". So when I caught myself doing this I walked away and let him just play with his friends.

When time came for the Youth tournament to begin, I made sure he had everything that he needed on him and with him. I will admit I was short with him when his nerves made him whine at me because my own nerves were strung tight. (What a pair we were.) Then I stood back and took video while he went through inspection and waited for his turn to fight. I was so proud that he was paying attention, that he didn't complain when they changed fighting styles in each round and that he fought well no matter what size kid he was fighting. He was even so focused on making sure he accepted every blow he got that when he hit himself, he gave his opponent the kill. (Did I mention that he's eight?) Luckily for him the Marshal, (referee), told him that the blow didn't count and to continue fighting. I even had to laugh when several people surrounding the eric were cheering him on and yelling out instructions. (I wasn't by the way, the whole no pressure thing.) It was great fun to watch and when it was over my son said he had a blast. This was obvious as he was grinning from ear to ear. The tournament was exactly what we expected, good experience and fun for him. That was a great end to his first tournament. 

Now it was my turn for the biggest and longest court I've ever been herald for. MY tournament, so to speak. We began a little later than planned, there were a lot of scrolls to sign at the last minute. Oh boy! That meant there were a lot of scrolls for me to read. Thankfully, I had gotten to see most of them and got a translation for the one written in Latin. (I do not read Latin, I was not going to start this weekend.) After calling several people forward to get their awards and reading the beautiful handmade scrolls they were given to go along with said awards, I was given a surprise. I was told to read a scroll without calling the person receiving it first. I started reading it and as I scanned ahead, so I wouldn't trip on upcoming words, I saw my son's name. Pushing through the tightening of my throat and the blurring of my eyes I finished reading. My son was named the most Chivalrous Youth Fighter in the tournament. Somehow I missed him leaving his seat and coming up to the thrones. I just looked down and he was there, grinning fiercely. He was excited! I was overwhelmed. After that, finishing court was not as scary. (Even though I lost my train of thought and started laughing out of turn. Whoops!)

This wasn't an official award. This was something that the young lady running the Youth Tournament wanted to recognize. Acknowledgment of a quality we all strive to display in our game. I found out later that several Noblewomen were asked to watch the tournament to choose who displayed this quality. These were women that might have seen my son in passing but really didn't know us that well. So we are both truly humbled that he was recognized for his thoughtfulness and sense of fair play. My husband does not play the game with us but even he is proud and humbled that his son was recognized in this fashion. Even three days later my son is still talking about this and asking if he can take his prize and scroll in for Show and Tell tomorrow. I did forget to mention, the prize was a purple and fluorescent green dragon that is about the same size he is. I don't think the dragon will make it to the school.

On to the real point of this story.

My son has a learning disability, he has difficulty with symbols and language. With that he has suffered with feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. I have battled with friends, family and educators about his behaviour and sensitive nature. The boy is brilliant if stubborn. Unfortunately his intelligence has only shown through to others in his art and mechanical skills.

In dealing with all this my son works really hard to make sure he doesn't hurt others feelings and to make sure he is being helpful. I think it's because he knows how it feels to have others look down on him and because he wants to feel some sense of worth. I realize that he isn't always thoughtful or helpful, he is eight after all. For a boy his age, he is remarkably more consistent about it.

As happy as our SCA friends and acquaintances were for my proud Mama moment. As proud as they were that one of our children was awarded this honor. They do not know how much more this award means to us. At least they didn't before now.

I am so very grateful to those Noble Women who saw in my son the Gentleman I've always known existed.

To the remarkable young lady who decided that this quality and behaviour needed to be recognized: Thank You!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Exhaustion waits for No One

After a fun filled working mini-vacation I am truly and extremely exhausted.

Let me tell you, no one cares. Don't take that the wrong way, of course my family and friends have sympathy. Of course everyone I know would like me to get some rest and feel more myself. It's the world at large that I mean is uncaring.

Deadlines cannot be missed due to "sleepiness", for that matter neither can work. You also cannot keep your child home from school because YOU are tired. Children cannot be ignored either. Folks frown at you if you don't feed and change them regularly.

So here I face working with a child not my own, getting my child to and from school, creating lists and coming up with solutions for one of those things that just happens. All the while pushing through this gelatin-like wall of total exhaustion. I still am not done.

I need to be creative despite this and create an announcement worthy of those being recognized for skill and good deeds. This is while my brain winks in and out. This is while my eyes fight to close on me. Yes, I can usually whip something out with only a few minutes leeway, but the Dread Monster Tyred has me by the sore joints I call shoulders and refuses to let go. I must succumb to it sooner or later. I know I won't escape.

Yet I keep pushing for later and later. Just let me get through my list and I promise that I will lay my head upon the pillowcase that desperately needs to be washed and fall asleep hoping that there is one more set of clothes I can wear tomorrow.

I do all this because I've made promises and I have a plan for my future. For both of those reasons I know I will fight this same fight again. Relatively soon I am sure. In the end it will be worth it. At least this is my Mantra. I will get myself and my group to where we need to be. This hard work, the days filled with dragging, yawning and extra food, will find us all successfully happy and with at least a couple extra hours a week to sleep.

In truth I am not complaining. I just need to let these feelings of frustration and general crabbiness out. That way I remember that Mantra and can continue to push forward no matter the obstacle of the day.

Am I crazy? Absolutely!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Encouragement

 My son and I are going to a medieval re-creation event this weekend. This required getting up and getting a fast but mandatory 'before camping for two days' shower and frantically packing the last few things into the car. This led to getting him to school a few minutes late and still having  to do some last minute shopping. Really, we only needed drinks, bread, salami and snacks. Let's start by saying I forgot the bread and salami. The reason? I got distracted by a well intentioned idea. You know the kind, the ones that always cost you more money.

My son is going to be competing in a tournament at this event. I am pretty excited and I think dad is proud of him for getting out there. Not one of the three of us cares if he wins. It's a refreshing but kind of scary attitude. I hope my son starts caring at some point whether or not he wins. Either way this is what is on my mind as I walk around the store.

Because my husband is not going with us, I decided I needed to get a cheap camera or video recorder. I only spent $30 on a video recorder and was pretty proud of myself for that. I got the snacks, drinks and the antiseptic spray I forgot I needed and continued on my way. Then I began to worry about whether or not the loaner armor was going to make it out to the event. I KNOW that it is usually there. The Youth Marshall is pretty dependable, but... what if. I realize that I am being paranoid but I can't help it. I stop at Play it Again Sports and got a good deal on the equipment. But, there went another $30. I am in trouble now. I totally blew my budget AND this is after I just made my husband help with my fuel costs this past week. Worrying about how to tell him so he will really understand my motivation I begin the drive to the house where I nanny.

The phone is ringing just as I am pulling onto the driveway and it's the hubby. (This is what happens when you start thinking about someone too hard.) I just blurt out how I spent my morning and my funds. I hadn't had the time to choose the right words yet, blunt just had to do.

Now, here is where we get to the whole point of this story and also why I am married to this man. He tells me that he was glad I got the camera since he couldn't come out. Then tells me that our son needed the equipment anyways and he's happy I got a good deal on it. He then floors me with the additional encouragement of wanting to support our child in the things that said child is interested in. This is what he never got growing up. Furthermore, my husband doesn't ever want our son to be resentful that we never had the money for him to pursue his interests.

This boy of ours is so lucky. I am so lucky. We have someone in our lives that truly wants us to be happy. I absolutely love the fact that even when I am chastising myself for acting on impulse, my husband understands exactly what motivated that impulse. More to the point he encourages these good intentions and crazy ideas. He also tells everyone when we joke about my impulses that HE is lucky because even on impulse I am extremely frugal. I know that, unfortunately, it is rare to have this type of unconditional love and encouragement. I know also that I waited  a long time and kissed a bunch of warty slimy frogs to find it.

Now I just need him to stop encouraging me so much in terms of my writing. Talk about putting the pressure on. Hahaha. Yes I am tough to please, but happy nonetheless.

Now off to the Tournament for Baronial Defenders!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Lack of Motivation?

There are so many days like today when it seems difficult to really put pen to paper. (Yes I still write longhand.) We usually assume that when work doesn't get done that it is total lack of motivation. Then we beat ourselves up over it and deal with that damn self-esteem monster. The thought effectively instilled in us is that there is something wrong with us when we cannot motivate ourselves to do what we say and believe we really want to do.

But what if it is not lack of motivation? What if it's a necessary time out for the over-stimulated brain? Because as I sat here to type out some thoughts I had last night I realized that I couldn't really put any of those down. Each separate idea was vying and fighting for attention and mixing with all the others. When this happens not one sentence can be written legibly. I would end up with a narrative on the Hippotamus that wore a mat during the raising of children in the middle of a philosophical debate on the nature of rope that played music. Most of you would never think that Monty Python's skits were random again. What a scary thought in and of itself. 

I realize that some of this is clutter and I should try to organize my thoughts a little better. But really, have you seen my room? It is just like any desk I've ever worked at. I know approximately where everything is, so long as no one moves it or adds to it. And damnit if people aren't always giving me more stuff or moving MY stuff. (BTW per George Carlin if it's mine it's STUFF.)

If I truly invited the people around me into my brain I believe they would be overwhelmed and become catatonic. Then I'd have that clutter to deal with as well. 

The good news is, that at this moment I can give myself a pat on the back because I at least got something out. Made more room for those other thoughts and ideas to flutter around and breathe a bit. 

Then of course comes the bad news. Because you know what will happen, right? I will click on Publish, check my email and have ten more thoughts enter my brain and all of those thoughts will start chasing each other causing a totally distracting blur of action. This will wear me out as I try to corral them and I will have no choice but to sit down with someone else's thoughts and dreams for a while as a time out for my own.

I truly AM motivated or I wouldn't have logged onto this account. I truly AM motivated or I wouldn't have bought more refills for my "really cool no one else is allowed to touch it" pen with the last bit of my previous paycheck. I truly AM motivated or I wouldn't have taken notes on the way children have been playing around me for the last couple of weeks. Motivation or the lack thereof is NOT the problem. 

The problem is that I don't have any other way to calm my thoughts down other than giving them a time out. So as most of us as parents struggle with creatively wrangling and effectively redirecting our children's behaviour, I am now struggling to figure out the creative and effective way to wrangle, trap and direct my out of control thoughts.

As a parting note, YES I do hear the tiny violin playing the music for the trials and tribulations of the creative mind. Add a drum and I will dance to that.     :)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Think!

A friend posted a link on a social network and got a lot of varied responses to it. Why? Because it had to do with religion and government. Mind you, I love healthy thought provoking debates. What I don't like is someone that cannot see the forest for the big bible thumping tree in front of him that he was told to watch no matter what.
I guess you can say this really got under my skin. But in all fairness I replied without being a showoff (since my field of study has been history and political science) and just posted something I thought was common sense.
In return I get "I remember reading that this [unrelated thing about our government] came from [this passage in the bible]". *

Are you kidding me???

Now before you get too offended let me explain. That way you know why you're offended. :)

I have NO problem with someone quoting their brand of scripture when explaining something to do with that religion. Great resource for that topic. Honest! The huge thing that gets my hackles up is making a statement that assumes that this is the first source for an idea, that this is the end all be all of an argument AND when the statement is about something OTHER than the issue that was being debated. No, I was not on debate team. No, I haven't gone to law school yet. I just think about what I want to say, find supporting data (not just one source), and make sure that I stay on topic when I want to debate someone's idea. Isn't that the fair and intelligent way to really argue/debate/think about any issue?

It was pointed out to me that I assume that people in general think before they speak or type. To this I have to say, of course I do. I have to assume that the people around me have a brain and use it. Otherwise I wouldn't leave my house. Which means I wouldn't have a family or the wonderful friends I am blessed with.

So yes I want to continue to assume that people in general paid attention in history class. I want to assume that they know that there were other religions and societies that worked well in the past. I want to assume that people remember that all the religious texts that are out were written by MERE MORTALS who have and will mesh what was going on in their society with whatever visions or visitations they may have had. I want to assume that people do know that some of these texts were written specifically for a government to have a reason to govern how they govern. And good grief I really want to assume that people know that EVERYTHING is read/interpreted differently by different people because of their own sphere of experience.

I know that most everything we know comes from texts. I also know that there was oral history before that. And as my very good friend pointed out, people haven't changed much so if we are doing it now that means that our ancestors probably did the same things. The only thing that has changed is how we do things due to the current technology. Do I expect others to know this? Well maybe not to the letter, but at least be open to the fact that you may not know it. Do I know everything? Oh Goddess NO! But I admit what I don't know, I research and what I half remember I look up and I try my best to listen to what others have to say.

So you see the actual topic, the oppositional view or the ideas themselves didn't aggravate me. The lack of actual thought and the poor presentation is what ultimately bugged the hell out of me.

So now I will have some more coffee, find some chocolate and try to lose myself in a fantasy where I can make this pet peeve into something fun and ironic.

*(I edited the actual topic because I don't actually want to debate this particular idea here. It isn't the point.)

New Beginnings

Or I should say To Begin Again....

More than half a lifetime ago I was introduced to "creative writing" and was hooked. I mean really, give a gal who can't speak up in general a way to express herself and don't expect her to cling to that means as a lifeline? No matter where I was, if I was thinking I was putting snippets of things on paper. There was no such thing as boredom, just time to write something else. Some things were beautiful, some are termed disturbing, but it was all about what I saw or felt at that point in time.

Of course as I got older and had other things I HAD to do, or lost the energy to gather my thoughts after running after a toddler, dealing with household stuff and dealing with illnesses. I also lost time and energy by getting involved in almost everything that piqued my interest. I mean I want to learn everything there is to know about everything. No I am not crazy. Just curious.

What WAS crazy was the thought that floated through my brain a couple of years ago. I remember sitting on my bed dejectedly wishing I had a way to reach out to the world. Why didn't I have a skill that would allow me to share my thoughts and ideas? See what happens when you take what you've always done for granted. It took a very good friend to smack me upside the head and ask why I wasn't WRITING for a living. Duh!

So here I am and hopefully the world is ready for me. I have very strong ideas on how things should work and how I should live my life. I know I will enrage some and offend others. Hopefully, I will also inspire some to think for themselves and question everything.

I will warn everyone now. I will write about whatever has my brain working on a given day and how I feel about it. I make no apologies for my ideas as it has taken me some time to come to terms with myself and I like who I am. My fantasy worlds and the stories that come out of them become richer because of my experiences and convictions. I am sure that no matter what I say here, most anyone will find something or someone they identify with in my Stories. Trust me ;)