Asking for Help

Yes this is an ongoing issue for me and a few of my friends. We are brought up in a society where the biggest lesson given is that a smart, successful person is self-sufficient. I am not going to argue whether or not this is true. I just want to clarify and then think "out loud".

It has taken me years to learn that it is ok to ask for help. Yet still when something major happens, like not having a vehicle for a week, I forget that I have friends that will drive all the way to BFE and pick me up. I have gotten so used to having my own transportation that figuring out what to do without it was frustrating. Equally frustrating was getting my own lecture back about asking for help.

I believe that a big part of friendship and family for that matter is helping each other out. The whole "village" mentality should not stop at just raising a child. Our friends and family are the village that should support and encourage us in all aspects of our lives. These are the people that are there when you need them just about every time you need them. HOWEVER they can't know when they are needed if we DON'T tell them.

So why didn't I ask for help when my car was "in the shop". (My husband is a mechanic.) I honestly do not know. Maybe it was that little voice in the back of my head taunting me with being a failure because I couldn't get my son and I where we needed to go. Maybe it was that I feel like I live so far away from anyone I could ask for a ride. Maybe it is that feeling I have sometimes that I am the only one that does "dumb" things like lend people my car. (We had a couple seize the engine of the vehicle we lent them.) Or maybe this was too much stress for my brain to handle so it ran away.

Whatever the reason I felt stuck and frustrated for a couple of days before I sat in a friend's car getting the lecture. That friend gave me a ride to things I wanted to do as well as the things I needed to do. After that I was lent a car that doesn't get much use due to the fact that it's owner telecommutes. (Have I mentioned I have awesome friends?)

By the following week, when I had my 4runner back, I was feeling very connected to my village. I was impressed by the fact that my high standards are there for a reason. I was also given a lot of crap for not asking for help in the first place by several people. Which I duly deserved.

The fear and anxiety of what I will do when this vehicle finally gives up is mostly gone. I love my 4runner. It's just old and tired and I understand it's trying to give me fair warning. I have a village full of support and love, or if you'd rather free rides and under used cars.