Why all the drama over the number of celebrity deaths this year?
Because it hurts.
Yes, we understand death is part of the cycle. Yes, we understand we don't know these folks personally. Yes, we understand. It still hurts. A raw ripping feeling as though pieces of your soul are being shredded with a SPOON.
Very different from the gnawing ache of sudden emptiness when a family member dies. Yet the reason is very similar.
Our families shape the footings for the foundation of our being. Our souls begin to take shape as they mold and guide us. Then our very being becomes tumultuous. We are separate from them, not replicas, we are OUR OWN PERSON! Serious teenage confusion begins the search for more. (And yes this presents in different ways but that is another story.)
Just like any architectural achievement, our personal construction requires RESEARCH. Music, movies, books, comics, magazines, and sometimes theatre are all the water, sand and gravel in the search for ourselves.
When we begin to find the pieces which either fit, or we desperately want to fit, the posters go up, the collections begin, and the soul grows. The soul changes. We now have a foundation ready, we think, to build upon.
Thus begins our individual journey, the adventure of learning about ourselves, the quest to find our tribe, the thingy to find fulfillment. (More posters, different collections, and new pieces.)
It is human nature to subconsciously think that all these people, the guides, the mentors, the inspirations will forever be around. They are a part of us, how could they not be?
The footings won't fail, the foundation won't crumble; however, the blueprints we lovingly bring out on occasion are now not just fading but beginning to rip - fast. We can feel it. We can't stop it.
Soon it will be familiar and we can remember with more fondness than sadness. Right now, we grieve and it's part of the cycle as well.
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Birthdays...
Today is my youngest sister's birthday! I sent her a birthday wish on Facebook and will call later today. My mother's birthday is in a couple more days. On top of this my son's birthday is a week and a half away. Folks talk about the end of holiday craziness, in our house there is no end. In our house there are only lulls which are more like a rest in the eye of the storm.
It makes me think about celebrations, now having been through the big party season, and how differently each family does things. It also makes me feel a little sad for things that I can't change. Typically "can't" is a dirty word in my house. This time, however, it fits because there is literally nothing I can do to change something that has already happened and I wasn't around for anyway. I can and will do things to give someone a bit of the experience I think they missed out on... wait i'm getting ahead of myself.
I celebrate my birthday. I mean I try to. I like making a big deal about it, granted it would be nice if other people did this for me but again I digress. Birthdays are another reason to celebrate all the different things we have 'holidays' for throughout the year. They are a time to be thankful for getting through another year, sharing time with friends and family. They are a time to show the people around you that you love them and vice versa. They are also mini Mother/Father's Day for us as parents. Why would anyone not want to use the excuse of their birth to get together with friends, eat, drink and make merry?
The answer to that question is, unfortunately, those people who were never taught that the day they were born is a reason to celebrate. I know way too many people who have not had the pleasure of having their father dress up as a clown (hobo style) and entertain their friends. Way too many people have not had their parents take off on a "birth day date". Way too many people have not had the frustrating joy that is losing yet another game of musical chairs! Birthdays should be full of Singing, Dancing, Playing Games, Eating, Drinking and generally having Way Too Much fun. Plus you should get more gifts than at Christmas because it's all about you! Well that is a wish anyway. It really isn't about the gifts. So let's leave that one alone. All I am saying is that a dinner out and a gift from the 'rentals does not a celebration make.
Again everything comes back down to the way we were taught to think about things. I find it disheartening that quite a number of people feel that birthdays are a countdown to death. Really? You could get hit by a bus today or contract some awful disease that gives you 30 days to live. Then again, you could live way past the drying up and falling apart of your body. There is no actual countdown folks! (Dang soapbox got under me again.. whoops!)
It comes down to me deciding that part of my responsibility as a mother is to teach my child that birthdays are a time for real celebration. Also with that is the lesson that every day is a day to celebrate something. Nothing is guaranteed.
With all this in mind this year it is even more important to make sure that kiddo has a least a little of the over the top celebrating I got. On a much smaller budget. It can be done. Bills can wait, they are ALWAYS there. Right?
But dangit I need to finish the big story and sell some of these smaller ones! Because one of these years I WILL give him the party with the clown, pony rides and bouncy house... even if it's for his 30th. *G*
It makes me think about celebrations, now having been through the big party season, and how differently each family does things. It also makes me feel a little sad for things that I can't change. Typically "can't" is a dirty word in my house. This time, however, it fits because there is literally nothing I can do to change something that has already happened and I wasn't around for anyway. I can and will do things to give someone a bit of the experience I think they missed out on... wait i'm getting ahead of myself.
I celebrate my birthday. I mean I try to. I like making a big deal about it, granted it would be nice if other people did this for me but again I digress. Birthdays are another reason to celebrate all the different things we have 'holidays' for throughout the year. They are a time to be thankful for getting through another year, sharing time with friends and family. They are a time to show the people around you that you love them and vice versa. They are also mini Mother/Father's Day for us as parents. Why would anyone not want to use the excuse of their birth to get together with friends, eat, drink and make merry?
The answer to that question is, unfortunately, those people who were never taught that the day they were born is a reason to celebrate. I know way too many people who have not had the pleasure of having their father dress up as a clown (hobo style) and entertain their friends. Way too many people have not had their parents take off on a "birth day date". Way too many people have not had the frustrating joy that is losing yet another game of musical chairs! Birthdays should be full of Singing, Dancing, Playing Games, Eating, Drinking and generally having Way Too Much fun. Plus you should get more gifts than at Christmas because it's all about you! Well that is a wish anyway. It really isn't about the gifts. So let's leave that one alone. All I am saying is that a dinner out and a gift from the 'rentals does not a celebration make.
Again everything comes back down to the way we were taught to think about things. I find it disheartening that quite a number of people feel that birthdays are a countdown to death. Really? You could get hit by a bus today or contract some awful disease that gives you 30 days to live. Then again, you could live way past the drying up and falling apart of your body. There is no actual countdown folks! (Dang soapbox got under me again.. whoops!)
It comes down to me deciding that part of my responsibility as a mother is to teach my child that birthdays are a time for real celebration. Also with that is the lesson that every day is a day to celebrate something. Nothing is guaranteed.
With all this in mind this year it is even more important to make sure that kiddo has a least a little of the over the top celebrating I got. On a much smaller budget. It can be done. Bills can wait, they are ALWAYS there. Right?
But dangit I need to finish the big story and sell some of these smaller ones! Because one of these years I WILL give him the party with the clown, pony rides and bouncy house... even if it's for his 30th. *G*
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