Just Write!

Why it is Prevalent Advice

After years of reading blogs and books or listening to podcasts to help my authors there is one common bit of wisdom that writers seem to avoid. It's been in bold, italics, set by itself or so many other ways which are not subtle. Yet, there are writers still following blogs and podcasts or buying books and magazines on "How to Write a Book!"

Let's distill what all of these authorities keep saying, repeatedly:

Just Write

Honestly, it's not easier said than done. It's something you do, without talking about it, thinking about it, planning it, arranging around it or even worrying about it. As a matter of fact, you are not writing a book at this point you are just telling a story. So the mantra is: Write the story. Write the story. Write the story.

Just Write

It's going to be ugly, even monstrous. Your rough draft should be horrible, warty and slimy. It should have so many typos and grammatical errors that your word nerd friends would cringe. It should have plenty of sections which don't make sense or are just plain wrong. You heard me, it should be wrong. Inaccurate descriptions, incorrect information and completely wrong words. 

Just Write

Who cares if you have the right tech? Use the voice memo function of your smart phone to get your ideas out then transcribe the ideas into notepad or word. If you'd like to use software, that's great. Yet don't get stuck on all the functions that you can do with the software, just use it to put something together. Don't get lost outlining, or creating your character sketches, or... , or...

Just Write

Not one published author wrote the perfect book on the first try. They wrote a terrible draft that no one got to see, revised it as best they could - possibly twice, sent it to beta readers, revised it again after getting the betas' feedback, sent it to the content editor, revised with those notes, sent it to the line editor, revised with those notes and finally sent it to the copy editor to format. Mind you some of them even send it to a proofreader before sending a manuscript to their copy editor. Phew!

So why try to do the work ahead of time to write the perfect book when you're going to have to make changes and revisions later on?

Just Write

Let the rest of us worry about making it pretty and ready for public consumption. We just want you to focus on getting a story out. Write the story that's buzzing insistently to get out, write the story which distracts you throughout the day as it flutters back and forth, write the story you need to tell. I want to read it, but I can't if you don't

Just Write

How do I look?

Perception

Something I learned very young is perception is super important in our lives. It's a powerful motivator with influential and invasive minions which can be detrimental or powerful.

Depending on who you speak to or what the application, the minions of perception are the tools that any self-help guru, marketing professional or sales coach teach. They are the basis of "fake-it til you make-it." These minions are also the key to "professionalism", which includes dress codes -written or not, phone etiquette, vocabulary expectations and diplomacy in the office. We want and need clients to view us a certain way. Public Perception can make or break a company. Much more so now than 10, 20, 30 years ago since we are now required to have a digital world-wide presence.

Again, the way people view us will either propel us forward or leave us hanging.

Family is also a game of perception. It is important to the heads of family how outsiders view the family as a whole because of course that is how they view the head of the household. It is even more important how the extended family views the nuclear family. Weird right? However, this plays out over and over again. There's an underlying competition within families which is won by the parents/guardians who have the most successful and exemplary children. Once again the minions - dress code, circumstantial etiquette, vocabulary expectations and diplomacy within the family are important. The need to maintain the perception of a well-adjusted family sometimes becomes toxic.

Yes, I said sometimes.

The reason behind the "fake-it til you make-it" mantra in business is that it creates productive habits. Keeping a calendar with penciled-in fake appointments creates a habit of maintaining your calendar. Once those appointments are actualized you are already in the habit of consulting your calendar and keeping it up to date. Faking a receptionist until you can hire one, creates an expectation for your clients of going through appropriate channels. Keeping an eye on appropriate fashion and replicating it, (within your means), creates a habit of presenting yourself the best way possible. All of these are equivalent to the productive habits for a healthy family model.

The perception game becomes destructive when its minions are suppressed or when they are let to run rampant. The minions body image, hygiene, self-worth, self-care, competition, etc., when used too often or not often enough create the monsters of Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Sleep Disorders and Addiction. These monsters can take years to tame, however, they are never truly conquered.

How are you using the minions of Perception? How have they been used on you?

Are you fighting the monsters they create? Did you tame these monsters?

It would seem that this is just the opening of this particular rabbit hole.

Dusting Off the Keyboard

What an adventure!

To answer the burning question, yes I stopped writing. Life hit some whitewater and in order to stay in the game I had to specialize. When there are only so many dice to roll, you gotta be picky about what oars to keep. (Now how's that for mixing metaphors?)

My old nemesis the Time Thief gained some allies. However, those allies worked for me as well. I have gained the ally of Knowledge, while strengthening my ally Tribe.

After a lengthy game of strategy with several losses and a few gains I find my weapons sharper, stronger, and seasoned oh-so-well with the sweat and tears of my efforts as well as the efforts of my Tribe.
However, the color of my thoughts, the flitting pictures in my mind continue to want an outlet. I have been told countless times, "You should start a blog." I had one. I have one. No. I abandoned one.
Hemming, hawing, thinking, overthinking and finally coming to the conclusion that I suck... at diary keeping. But I love to play with the random sentences that fly through my mind.

So what's next?

When something hits me as funny and no one else gets it, I'll post.
When my soul feels the ripping sensation of truth, I'll post.
When I need to make fun of my moody self, I'll probably think about posting, then think better of it, then write it, erase it, and...  I'll post.
In between all this I might fill in the gap of my abandonment of this lonely page.

Why shouldn't we all have fun as I try to herd butterflies?

So much STEAM!

... and dust and cowboy hats too!

The big show that our troupe worked so hard on premiered at the Wild Wild West Steampunk Convention.

Well to be honest in its beginning it was to be a show specifically for this Con, but it grew to be so much more. But this is what happens with you get a writer like Erin Lausten involved. In short this show is now the beginning of so many more with Short Stories to match!

Walking around on the first day we fell in love with all the creative costuming! Watching different acts and listening to some awesome bands, we drooled with excitement at the possibilities that lay before us. In finding locations for pictures we were awed to be standing in the same places that so many Westerns were filmed. (We giggled when someone behind us noted that one section looked like Tatooine.) In short we were overwhelmed with the ideas swirling around us and we needed to FOCUS!

The Slumber Party Returned

The first night found the three of us that had bunked together at Estrella War bunking together again! Let the giggling ensue...
Oh you bet we were giggling when we were trying to fall asleep. We were so tired from the preparation, packing, traveling and doing some last minute costuming that we were a bit Punchy. We were outright laughing when we thought of Estrella and Ms. DT!

The Giddyness continued

The next day because we stayed up late and got up early. (Early enough that three females could get a shower, get mostly ready for the day and get to breakfast by 9am. Amazing right?) That as we were finishing the last minute grommeting in the hotel room we couldn't help but giggle. AND when we were walking around the the Convention we were not as shy as we normally are when handing out promotional materials. I think we scared a couple of folks at Old Tucson Studios.


Of course the giddyness disappeared when OTS and the directors of WWWCon got their wires crossed with our performance times. We did take it in stride and got the consolation prize of attending The League of S.T.E.A.M. dinner theater. What a hoot! Especially after attempting to eat a 2 foot pizza. (I wish someone had gotten a picture.)

Not a total bust for the first day of our first Steampunk Convention.

There was, of course, two more days left!

Projects, projects and MORE projects...

So this is where we once again talk about Trickster Time... He is getting so much publicity from me, I wish there was a way to bill and collect from this elusive artist.

This is a glimpse into what my life has become and it will only get more insane from here.

The troupe has performances coming up that we are really excited about and can't wait to do. Of course we need to make costumes and refresh ourselves with certain styles of Middle Eastern dance. These shows are fast approaching. As a group we are realizing that just because something is a month away, it does not mean that we have a month to work on it.

When you take into account the time you already have committed to work, children, spouses and other activities the amount of time available to actually do work decreases. Also, the time you need to take to create and sew a costume takes away from the time you can use for rehearsal. This works the other way around as well. On top of all these things you should really try to factor in the fun that Trickster Time will have with you. He likes to work with Nemesis to create problems with the sewing machines or computers you are using to work on costumes and music. Time will also play around with the day that you are working and give you the impression of having 8 hours but the 4 hour project doesn't get finished because you only really had 3 hours to truly work on it.

It makes me tired just thinking about all the things that Time can do to you when you have a deadline. It also wears me out just trying to explain how it all works. Or doesn't as the case may be

Now here's where it gets interesting or insane, take your pick.

I am networking for the troupe as well as trying to costume myself for the BIG show coming up in March. Having agreed to do some other work where I need another costume by the end of this month. Yes, 2 weeks from now. Along with rehearsals and the dance class I am teaching, I am sure I will find the time. (Was that convincing?)

Then there is the multi-level marketing that needs at least some attention. No more than 15 minutes a day really. But somehow that 15 mins seems more like an hour when you try to find it loose and free. A block of 15 free minutes is the Jackalope of my world. Truly, have you ever really seen it?

Add on to this craziness my personal quest to bring more money into my household. I now have 2 commissioned sewing projects. Well 3 if you count the project I was supposed to do during the summer. I need an hour a day to fit those in and have them done before the event they are to be worn at. ACK!  (Yes, I realize I asked for this.)

And last but not least is the writing. It's always waiting for me. Like that old friend from college that is happy to hang out with you but you always leave hanging until all your other social obligations are taken care of. I am honestly writing a little something every day. But slow and steady is not the actual pace I want to be at right now. (Impatient? Me?)

Now as I return to planning and costuming I do regret that I am not posting as often as I'd like. Nor am I writing as much as I could. I also have lots of unfinished sections on that multi-level marketing website. But it's okay. I am blaming it all on that trickster Time. Otherwise my 2 hours a day would be enough to get everything done.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Didn't see that one coming...

I noticed today that my protagonist's name is the same, (or very similar), as my favorite childhood villain-ess.

Sometimes my thoughts get so churned up with the frantic pace of life that it takes a bit for them to settle and leave clarity behind. Much like sediment in a lake when you stand still after walking in from the edge.

A couple of weeks ago my friends and I were talking about our favorite childhood cartoons. Naturally most of mine were the "boy" type cartoons. Lots of action and violence! Typically the writers had to modify them as to not alienate female viewers. This then gave us girls strong females to associate with. Which probably explains my mother's strange habit of getting me the male sidekicks of the popular girl's dolls. Yuck!

Let's try and forget that. Again.

I was pretty into Thundercats, He-Man, Transformers and okay I will admit it, The Smurfs. Gargamel was fun. There was also this Amazon Jungle super hero chick with a cool necklace/weapon thing. But I digress.

These action filled and sometimes dark animated series gave me much more to chew on. They made great fodder for my wildly overactive imagination. (Ask me about the wooden lion sometime.) The action was a lot of fun, we were always happy that the hero won BUT the villains were awesome. Villains by definition should be strong. This strength is very prominently displayed. Female villains couldn't be buff so they had to be smart, sassy, independent and did I mention smart? This is the most consistent place you will find a truly unique and independent female character.

After many intervening years I cannot remember storylines or most of these character's specialties. I remember most vividly, however, trading stickers and toys so I could have everything with Evil-Lyn. I still want her costume!

Yet after working on this story for a couple of years and talking about these cartoons a couple of weeks ago, TODAY is the day I realize this irony. Today I realized that my nerve-wracked, smart ass, fiercely protective, very smart and very in love Human Female lead has the same name as the villain I loved as a child.

Evelynn is bugging me to stop admiring how my mind works and get back to her story. So back to the notebook.

You would think...

that I am crazy!

Well at least if you saw my schedule lately. I am certainly getting a lot of things accomplished and helping quite a few other people. Sadly, this is leaving my free quiet time much more scarce than usual. This is bad for getting these stories done and off to readers. This is also bad in that I am getting way more ideas for other stories that I shouldn't be worrying about yet!

Last night was the first meeting of our new writing group. I decided it would be a good idea to get together with other writers for support and a little accountability. The three of us that showed had a good time getting to know each other. We certainly had plenty to say and different types of questions to ask each other. What we didn't talk about was the idea of setting a deadline. Or scheduling time to get done what we want to do. I did state, when we were on the topic of cover art, that artistic types tend to not understand deadlines. I told my husband I had to really work on my art. Hmmm... (You see where I am going right?)

This makes me wonder how many other writers have issues with deadlines. Are there authors out there that can realistically set their own deadlines and schedules? Is this the much bigger role that having an agent and/or publisher provides? Because in all the research we have done looking up the pros and cons of self-publishing or working with a publishing house, this one point has not come up yet.

I could probably be over-thinking things a bit, again.

Well back to the poetry that seems to be flowing from my personal angst and disappointment!

Birthdays...

Today is my youngest sister's birthday! I sent her a birthday wish on Facebook and will call later today. My mother's birthday is in a couple more days. On top of this my son's birthday is a week and a half away. Folks talk about the end of holiday craziness, in our house there is no end. In our house there are only lulls which are more like a rest in the eye of the storm.

It makes me think about celebrations, now having been through the big party season, and how differently each family does things. It also makes me feel a little sad for things that I can't change. Typically "can't" is a dirty word in my house. This time, however, it fits because there is literally nothing I can do to change something that has already happened and I wasn't around for anyway. I can and will do things to give someone a bit of the experience I think they missed out on... wait i'm getting ahead of myself.

I celebrate my birthday. I mean I try to. I like making a big deal about it, granted it would be nice if other people did this for me but again I digress. Birthdays are another reason to celebrate all the different things we have 'holidays' for throughout the year. They are a time to be thankful for getting through another year, sharing time with friends and family. They are a time to show the people around you that you love them and vice versa. They are also mini Mother/Father's Day for us as parents. Why would anyone not want to use the excuse of their birth to get together with friends, eat, drink and make merry?

The answer to that question is, unfortunately, those people who were never taught that the day they were born is a reason to celebrate. I know way too  many people who have not had the pleasure of having their father dress up as a clown (hobo style) and entertain their friends. Way too many people have not had their parents take off on a "birth day date". Way too many people have not had the frustrating joy that is losing yet another game of musical chairs! Birthdays should be full of Singing, Dancing, Playing Games, Eating, Drinking and generally having Way Too Much fun. Plus you should get more gifts than at Christmas because it's all about you! Well that is a wish anyway. It really isn't about the gifts. So let's leave that one alone. All I am saying is that a dinner out and a gift from the 'rentals does not a celebration make.

Again everything comes back down to the way we were taught to think about things. I find it disheartening that quite a number of people feel that birthdays are a countdown to death. Really? You could get hit by a bus today or contract some awful disease that gives you 30 days to live. Then again, you could live way past the drying up and falling apart of your body. There is no actual countdown folks! (Dang soapbox got under me again.. whoops!)

It comes down to me deciding that part of my responsibility as a mother is to teach my child that birthdays are a time for real celebration. Also with that is the lesson that every day is a day to celebrate something. Nothing is guaranteed.

With all this in mind this year it is even more important to make sure that kiddo has a least a little of the over the top celebrating I got. On a much smaller budget. It can be done. Bills can wait, they are ALWAYS there. Right?

But dangit I need to finish the big story and sell some of these smaller ones! Because one of these years I WILL give him the party with the clown, pony rides and bouncy house... even if it's for his 30th. *G*

The magic feels.... a lot like hard work

Honestly!

The magic that will happen as our performance in the late winter doesn't feel so magic filled or awe-inspiring at the moment. Right now what I mostly feel is sore muscles and extreme awkwardness. Of course, once we get things really moving and get those "wow" moments down, no one will believe it. It will come across as genius in simplicity. Exactly what we are aspiring to. It is just a little painful working to get there.

When new folks come out to learn to dance the most common thing I've heard is "I will never look as good as you." My first instinct is to be self depracating and respond that I don't think I look that good. What they mean is that they don't think that they can really learn the moves as they are feeling awkward and clumsy. What I mean is that I still feel awkward and clumsy until I get something new down. I just happen to have a few more moves in my bag right now.

This is giving me something else to think about. Writing. Specifically, my writing.

At the moment it doesn't feel altogether magical. Well at least the act of putting down my thoughts and ideas on a page don't. It feels awkward and cumbersome and I find myself re-arranging a lot of my verbage. The only magic so far is when I can't get a scene out of my mind and feel the need to find some paper. (Yes I do sometimes just take pen to paper.) This has been painful and frustrating. A good deal of work and research goes into what I write and that kind of kills that magical feeling.

While thinking about this I have read notes from my favorite authors and truly understand that new dancers' feeling of being completely and utterly lost. I start wondering about whether or not I can truly get to where I want to go. If it will ever be as easy as it seems with these authors. Will I get over myself and start just writing so uncontrollably that I will have more books to try to get published then I know what to do with? It would be really nice not to have total control of my characters and have them tell me what is going to happen next. At the moment it feels a lot like trying to get information from reluctant children.  Slow going with a few AHA! moments.

My two focuses in 2011 will truly be the troupe and my writing. As each of these require creativity and hard work it seems fitting that I should take my lessons from my struggles with both.

(Funny, this is starting to take the form of a resolution, which is something I avoid making.)

Here's a compromise, we'll call this a realization. I am accepting the realization that the magic will come AFTER the hard work. I will have my "wow" moment as I get closer to the meat of the stories I write. The magical feeling will be knowing that I have something to shop and a show that will blow the audience away!

So here's to the magic of hard work. Bippity Boppety Do it already... heh

Here we Go!

It is now the end of 2010 and of course this makes most of us look back at the year we've just spent hoping would end quickly. Being the end of one year it also makes me in particular look forward to what is coming up.

I don't know about you all but there never seems to be a definitive end to one year and a definitive beginning to the next. For the last dozen years things just seem to blend together. The actual date only marks when things are due or when they are well and truly done. Otherwise we keep plugging away at similar if not the very same things year after year, day after day.

This may seem monotonous to some, to me it is an indication of what I've accomplished over the last couple of years. For things to continue happening it means that I have continously worked on them. I am fairly good at cutting people or activities from my life when they get too cumbersome, boring or toxic. I say fairly good because I probably give both my activities and acquiantances more chances then they deserve to get back into my good graces. Regardless, the point is that I don't have continuity due to inaction but due to a concerted effort to continue those things that I enjoy.

To this end I am now starting to at least think about my calendar. Yes, I have not followed my own advice again. I haven't plotted on an actual calendar yet. I swear I will hit the dollar store soon!

Even though I haven't written it down on paper, I can already see the weekends up until Summer filled up. And my weeknights are going to start filling quickly as well. I have to keep repeating to myself that this is all good! I have created this busy schedule nightmare with the projects I have taken on. This craziness will get the troupe the recognition we want, me the money I need to pay the bills on time and a of course a chance to for me to publish at least one of my stories.

This is the idea anyway.

Now myself and the friends I purposely have surrounding me are on to planning the next year and it's going to be a hard, fast ride! Hopefully everyone's ready and has their safety belts on. There's no slowing down this rollercoaster!

NaNoWriMo... sort of

NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month is an annual self-monitored writing contest. The contest is not about writing the best story. In fact no one else actually reads your novel unless you decide to send it to someone for that purpose. The point of the contest is to write without slowing down to edit or research. Get all your ideas on "paper" and hit at least 50,000 words. A couple of people I know are participating this year as am I.

Admittedly, I haven't been very good about using every available moment to write. I am doing a bit better than I did last year, I blamed the low word count last year to starting 2 weeks into the month. This year, I acknowledge that I have let other things distract me. I plan for time to write and then work on things for the dance troupe OR start plotting ways to make a bit more money. Making ends meet is a HUGE distraction.

Another huge distraction is that buzzing in the back of my head that I could be polishing what I have already written to submit to agents. This of course runs back around to that making money thing. Really, if I had money I could just write. The time would be there for research and editing as well. Then the daydreaming begins.

One of my writing partners and I constantly joke about winning the lottery so we can become wealthy enough to write. Being a professional student would be nice too, but really that would defeat the purpose which is having time to write without worrying about the dreaded Bill Monster. We understand that this joking is a way of blowing off steam. The daydream to relieve stress. Last week, however, I almost stepped over the line.

I was surrounded by advertising for that week's Powerball. At that point it was up to $123 million and I was counting change out to put fuel in my truck. I was SO close to using some of that change to buy a Powerball ticket. I was calculating what winning that money would actually mean. (The math will be wrong, it's not my forte.) About 50% would be taken for taxes which would leave me with $61.5 million. Paid out over 20 years there would be a yearly stipend of about $3 million. So the first year I could pay off student loans, personal loans, medical debt and buy the house completely from my in-laws. We'd also be able to buy a larger home and have newer vehicles. My husband would still have to work that year. BUT we'd be comfy. This all went through my head in the 2-3 minutes that I had to wait for an available cashier.

What stopped me from buying a ticket and trying? I would be cheating myself out of 24 miles of driving. That is 1/3 of the mileage for my day. Total reality check. I had to be able to get to work and back home that day, regardless of whether or not my $3 would win me anything in the future. This was too big of a gamble for me on this day.

Where does this leave me then? And what does this have to do with NaNoWriMo?

It leaves me realizing that I need to continue to do what I can to scrimp and save. I need to remind myself that the course I am on will get me to where I want to go. I need to work on Patience. And mostly I need to remember that when I am feeling overwhelmed this blog is here for me to empty the clutter so I can hear my character's voices more clearly.

With that in mind I go back to writing a bit more on the slightly researched and not edited novel that I WILL finish on November 30th!

Lack of Motivation?

There are so many days like today when it seems difficult to really put pen to paper. (Yes I still write longhand.) We usually assume that when work doesn't get done that it is total lack of motivation. Then we beat ourselves up over it and deal with that damn self-esteem monster. The thought effectively instilled in us is that there is something wrong with us when we cannot motivate ourselves to do what we say and believe we really want to do.

But what if it is not lack of motivation? What if it's a necessary time out for the over-stimulated brain? Because as I sat here to type out some thoughts I had last night I realized that I couldn't really put any of those down. Each separate idea was vying and fighting for attention and mixing with all the others. When this happens not one sentence can be written legibly. I would end up with a narrative on the Hippotamus that wore a mat during the raising of children in the middle of a philosophical debate on the nature of rope that played music. Most of you would never think that Monty Python's skits were random again. What a scary thought in and of itself. 

I realize that some of this is clutter and I should try to organize my thoughts a little better. But really, have you seen my room? It is just like any desk I've ever worked at. I know approximately where everything is, so long as no one moves it or adds to it. And damnit if people aren't always giving me more stuff or moving MY stuff. (BTW per George Carlin if it's mine it's STUFF.)

If I truly invited the people around me into my brain I believe they would be overwhelmed and become catatonic. Then I'd have that clutter to deal with as well. 

The good news is, that at this moment I can give myself a pat on the back because I at least got something out. Made more room for those other thoughts and ideas to flutter around and breathe a bit. 

Then of course comes the bad news. Because you know what will happen, right? I will click on Publish, check my email and have ten more thoughts enter my brain and all of those thoughts will start chasing each other causing a totally distracting blur of action. This will wear me out as I try to corral them and I will have no choice but to sit down with someone else's thoughts and dreams for a while as a time out for my own.

I truly AM motivated or I wouldn't have logged onto this account. I truly AM motivated or I wouldn't have bought more refills for my "really cool no one else is allowed to touch it" pen with the last bit of my previous paycheck. I truly AM motivated or I wouldn't have taken notes on the way children have been playing around me for the last couple of weeks. Motivation or the lack thereof is NOT the problem. 

The problem is that I don't have any other way to calm my thoughts down other than giving them a time out. So as most of us as parents struggle with creatively wrangling and effectively redirecting our children's behaviour, I am now struggling to figure out the creative and effective way to wrangle, trap and direct my out of control thoughts.

As a parting note, YES I do hear the tiny violin playing the music for the trials and tribulations of the creative mind. Add a drum and I will dance to that.     :)