How do I look?

Perception

Something I learned very young is perception is super important in our lives. It's a powerful motivator with influential and invasive minions which can be detrimental or powerful.

Depending on who you speak to or what the application, the minions of perception are the tools that any self-help guru, marketing professional or sales coach teach. They are the basis of "fake-it til you make-it." These minions are also the key to "professionalism", which includes dress codes -written or not, phone etiquette, vocabulary expectations and diplomacy in the office. We want and need clients to view us a certain way. Public Perception can make or break a company. Much more so now than 10, 20, 30 years ago since we are now required to have a digital world-wide presence.

Again, the way people view us will either propel us forward or leave us hanging.

Family is also a game of perception. It is important to the heads of family how outsiders view the family as a whole because of course that is how they view the head of the household. It is even more important how the extended family views the nuclear family. Weird right? However, this plays out over and over again. There's an underlying competition within families which is won by the parents/guardians who have the most successful and exemplary children. Once again the minions - dress code, circumstantial etiquette, vocabulary expectations and diplomacy within the family are important. The need to maintain the perception of a well-adjusted family sometimes becomes toxic.

Yes, I said sometimes.

The reason behind the "fake-it til you make-it" mantra in business is that it creates productive habits. Keeping a calendar with penciled-in fake appointments creates a habit of maintaining your calendar. Once those appointments are actualized you are already in the habit of consulting your calendar and keeping it up to date. Faking a receptionist until you can hire one, creates an expectation for your clients of going through appropriate channels. Keeping an eye on appropriate fashion and replicating it, (within your means), creates a habit of presenting yourself the best way possible. All of these are equivalent to the productive habits for a healthy family model.

The perception game becomes destructive when its minions are suppressed or when they are let to run rampant. The minions body image, hygiene, self-worth, self-care, competition, etc., when used too often or not often enough create the monsters of Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Sleep Disorders and Addiction. These monsters can take years to tame, however, they are never truly conquered.

How are you using the minions of Perception? How have they been used on you?

Are you fighting the monsters they create? Did you tame these monsters?

It would seem that this is just the opening of this particular rabbit hole.

The Sum of Our Parts

Why all the drama over the number of celebrity deaths this year?

Because it hurts.

Yes, we understand death is part of the cycle. Yes, we understand we don't know these folks personally. Yes, we understand. It still hurts. A raw ripping feeling as though pieces of your soul are being shredded with a SPOON.

Very different from the gnawing ache of sudden emptiness when a family member dies. Yet the reason is very similar.

Our families shape the footings for the foundation of our being. Our souls begin to take shape as they mold and guide us. Then our very being becomes tumultuous. We are separate from them, not replicas, we are OUR OWN PERSON! Serious teenage confusion begins the search for more. (And yes this presents in different ways but that is another story.)

Just like any architectural achievement, our personal construction requires RESEARCH. Music, movies, books, comics, magazines, and sometimes theatre are all the water, sand and gravel in the search for ourselves.

When we begin to find the pieces which either fit, or we desperately want to fit, the posters go up, the collections begin, and the soul grows. The soul changes. We now have a foundation ready, we think, to build upon.

Thus begins our individual journey, the adventure of learning about ourselves, the quest to find our tribe, the thingy to find fulfillment. (More posters, different collections, and new pieces.)

It is human nature to subconsciously think that all these people, the guides, the mentors, the inspirations will forever be around. They are a part of us, how could they not be?

The footings won't fail, the foundation won't crumble; however, the blueprints we lovingly bring out on occasion are now not just fading but beginning to rip - fast. We can feel it. We can't stop it. 

Soon it will be familiar and we can remember with more fondness than sadness. Right now, we grieve and it's part of the cycle as well. 

Dusting Off the Keyboard

What an adventure!

To answer the burning question, yes I stopped writing. Life hit some whitewater and in order to stay in the game I had to specialize. When there are only so many dice to roll, you gotta be picky about what oars to keep. (Now how's that for mixing metaphors?)

My old nemesis the Time Thief gained some allies. However, those allies worked for me as well. I have gained the ally of Knowledge, while strengthening my ally Tribe.

After a lengthy game of strategy with several losses and a few gains I find my weapons sharper, stronger, and seasoned oh-so-well with the sweat and tears of my efforts as well as the efforts of my Tribe.
However, the color of my thoughts, the flitting pictures in my mind continue to want an outlet. I have been told countless times, "You should start a blog." I had one. I have one. No. I abandoned one.
Hemming, hawing, thinking, overthinking and finally coming to the conclusion that I suck... at diary keeping. But I love to play with the random sentences that fly through my mind.

So what's next?

When something hits me as funny and no one else gets it, I'll post.
When my soul feels the ripping sensation of truth, I'll post.
When I need to make fun of my moody self, I'll probably think about posting, then think better of it, then write it, erase it, and...  I'll post.
In between all this I might fill in the gap of my abandonment of this lonely page.

Why shouldn't we all have fun as I try to herd butterflies?